The Politburo

This assemble of unusual suspects is responsible for the night-to-night workings of KAOS. They are all lovely people know what they're talking about can put their own pants on have been hand-picked by the Dictator because He can't be bothered doing everything Himself trusts their judgement implicitly...

The Dictator

KAOS runs on a "one man, one vote" system. The Dictator is that man, and holds that vote. Despite this awesome responsibility, from time to time the Dictator will descend from on high to mingle with his loyal subjects. He can often be found consulting with the people on matters of importance, such as when the next party is happening, what kind of public tomfoolery are upcoming, why the Vizier keeps plying Him with drink, and who is buying the next round.

In all things obscure the Dictator is all-knowing and benevolent, and will dispense many opinions whether they are requested or not. Despite His glorious and much-coveted position (sorry Fluffy), the Dictator is relaxed, friendly and understanding of His subject's needs. If you have a question, concern, disturbance, confusion or sacred quest to embark upon. He will happily sit down for a chat (assuming that the appropriate liquid tribute is provided of course).

Although He has employed many lackeys and underlings to perform the vast majority of His duties for him, the Dictator's word remains law in all club business. As such when the mood hits Him He may weigh in on a dispute, and may even be approached by agents if their objections (read: bribes) have fallen on deaf ears. The Dictator will consider all isues brought before Him with equal impropriety, with the following concerns foremost in His mind:

• Injustice must be seen to be done, and
• Though shalt not waste the Dictator's time

The Floozey

The floozey's primary job is to flooze. This is like oozing, only not. It is her duty to leave the dictator feeling... satisfied. When those five minutes four hours of unspeakable ecstasy are over, she chases insects around.

The floozey is able to perform her duties from the Southern Wastelands of Otago, because she is Just That Good. As such, she is the official liaison to the Otago chapter of KAOS.
... and bugs.

The Vizier

It is a well-established fact that the Dictator is the final authority on, well, everything. What is less well known is that occasionally, very occasionally, He is amenable to advice. The foremost duty of the Vizier is the identification and explotation of these rare opportunities. If an agent has a proposal for the Dictator's perusal, they can bring it to the Vizier, who (in the grand tradition of advisers throughout history) will carefully lay said proposal aside until the Dictator is too inebriated to know what He is signing

This task is not hugely time consuming, however, and thus the Vizier has two further duties. Firstly, he holds the keys to the filing cabinet in which a great number of manila folders all marked with a large red stamp, are stored. Secondly, he is responsible for overseeing the training of all new recruits in the various theoretical fields that are so essential for a well-rounded agent and young academic.

The Vizier has a vested interest in ensuring your survival.

Q

It is Q's duty to take bribies. If you want to get immunity to that anthrax in your sandwich or you want to use that exotic weapon¹, it may set you back a can of coffee or two. If you have come up with a unique and inventive way to slaughter people (and no, just hitting them harder doesn't count), I'm the one to talk to about getting the weapon registered.

As an aside, we like creativity. Take photos of your kills. Show them off. We promise we won't execute you for it.

As well as taking bribes I also organise killing rounds. Or something like that. If you want to ask questions about a killing round or you want to run one yourself (since I'm too lazy to run them all) come and see me in the Ilam Café. I'm there basically every day eating noodles, although this year I will go to all my lectures².

¹That's not a euphemism. Stop being dirty.

² That's what I said last year. But I mean it this time!

Lady Grey

Lady Grey is a campus institution. She is not a brand of tea. Rather, she is the most beneficent and wise embodiment of womanhood, representing all women within the society. If you have need of advice, coffee or comfort, seek out the Lady Grey and shee will assist. She is wise beyond her years, and even friendlier than she looks.

The Treasurer

The Treasurer is the holder of the metaphorical keys to KAOS' limitless financial resources. We are a bountiful and wealthy society, after all.

The Treasurer is a trustworthy and loyal servant of the Dictator. He was handpicked by the Dictator for his role, and as such is utterly infallible, for the Dictator never makes a mistake.

The Treasurer was last seen fleeing toward Christchurch Airport with a large suitcase, wearing a Hawaiian shirt and laughing maniacally. The ticket stubs to Cuba we found in his bedroom are assuredly not related.

The Minister of Truth

There is no alcohol shortage. There are no assassins waiting to kill you at every turn. There are most certainly not harems of nubile women (or men) awaiting your every whim. Sorry about that.

The Minister of Truth never lies. Not even then

The Minister of Truth is the one true voice of KAOS. It is his job to collect and disseminate information according to the will of the Dictator (LONG LIVE THE DICTATOR!).

of Truth He prefers to dispense information via the medium of a really loud voice. If you happen to be deaf (or in a different room), there will be a monthly release summing up all that has happened in the world of KAOS called The Dictator's Voice (LONG LIVE THE DICTATOR!).

The Minister of Truth is absolutely an essential and integral part of the Politburo. He is trusted and loved by all.

The Goblin King

A close relative of the internet troll, the politburo's goblin is responisble for the technical side of KAOS. He is not the sort of goblin king that wears tights... well, except that one time...

It is said that, if you wish to risk sloshlings bursting out of your stomach during particularly hot weather, licking his bald head will bring luck.

He has a tendency to be absent minded and/or boozy. When he grows up he wishes to be a goldfsh.